Archive for December, 2009

Using Art Therapy to create what you desire 2010

December 31st, 2009

I just so love and adore the new year. If you know me then you have heard me say, ” you get a do-over”. A do-over is a word we used as a kid. If you missed the ball while trying to hit it you got another chance. It didn’t count, you get to call a do-over, and you get to do it again. I love kids because they really understand do-overs. You could spend half an hour pitching the ball and they call do-overs until they get it. That’s pretty smart, asking for what you need. So I adore the new year, because it’s like a natural do-over.

However, do we practice do-overs in our lives? Many of us practice “do-agains” instead. I looked back at my yearly journal entries and see many of the same goals, be more compassionate with my family, loose 10 lbs, etc. The resolutions are great until someone in my family does something and I get so frustrated or I sign-up to get 8 boxes of girl scout cookies, then I’m face with rewriting the same things next year. Does this sound familiar?

So I began to wonder why some really big things I set out to accomplish, like writing my book, happen and why other less difficult things don’t happen. What I found was I needed some concrete outcomes, steps to take to get there, and supports around me to help me make the changes. Even bigger than action steps is the commitment I made to the change and how I decided to feel about it.

If there is specific area in your life that you are longing to transform allow yourself to focus on that one thing. Here’s where the do-over comes in handy. You can change the way you think and feel about this by using your creative possibilities thinking. So identify the problem (one is enough), be very specific and clear what it is. Now go grab some art supplies, magazines, chalks, oil paster, markers, paint, whatever you have on hand. Sit with this problem and ask how would I be different if this problem was resolved, what would I be doing, thinking, or feeling? Allow yourself to use the art materials to express how different your life would feel and be if this was no longer an issue. This is your do-over. This is your map to make changes.

My collage hangs over my fireplace as a reminder of what I am choosing to create.


Mandala Mondays- Giving Gratitude

December 28th, 2009

IMG_1447This Mandala Monday is focused on gratitude, often forgotten when life becomes difficult. There are so many mixed emotions the first holiday after you lose a loved one. Although it has been a few months since we said good-bye to my mother-in-law, the rush of the holidays kept our family busy. The loss and sadness appears and disappears, but came strongly during the holiday. There is nothing that can be said or done to alleviate the pain and loss. So we embrace it, with all the other feelings that come up this time of year. We welcome family and friends into our home and connect over the phone and skype those who are far. We nap, eat, cry, laugh, go for bike rides, burn a fire, walk the beach, listen to music, and feel a string of sadness that is woven throughout. Yet, in these moments there is such gratitude. Gratitude for being alive, feeling the sun on my face, the smell of salty air, the fur of my dog, the hug of my mother, the joy of snuggling in bed on a cold night, the heat from the fire, a good book, and a cup of tea. All these moments, all these feelings, I give gratitude and know the blessings of being able to feel and be here and bear witness to my life.IMG_1443IMG_1444

Sarasota Season of Sculpture on the Bay


Mandala Mondays

December 21st, 2009

IMG_1289Saturday’s Mandala holds sacred the feelings of change and loss and the sheer beauty of moment. I walked on the beach Saturday with my husband. The wind had been blowing all day and there will a wild brilliance of crashing waves that we don’t often see in the gulf. The waves held a raw beauty that comes on a cool winter day at the beach. We picked shells for my mother’s holiday gift and let the feeling of sadness move through us. This was a favorite spot that my mother-in-law treasured when she came to FL. We knew she was walking with us as we combed the beach; this will be the first holiday without her and she’ll be in our hearts as we celebrate, yet there is a sadness that we honor as we move through the holidays.

IMG_1287Today’s Mandala holds the image of coming back to home, back to the heart. Since my husband and I are native northerners, this time of year there is a longing to be up north with family and friends, decking out our house in the Finger Lakes. The trees and hills are the north. Since we had traveled monthly over the last 6 months we decided to stay local and be with my family in the south. There is a longing to be playing in all that snow up north and having things be the same a they had years prior. Yet  there is the the water, representing the south, and the continuity that life goes on.  There is a sadness in all the changes, and a longing to “return home”. Yet, there is clarity that home is love- love of self, love of others, and love of spirit, and we are always returning home.


Mandalas and Healing, Day 18

December 18th, 2009

IMG_1254 It is interesting to see the unfolding of your feelings and thoughts over weeks through the art making process. On day 17 I make this image. There’s lots happening right now in my business, with the holidays, and in my personal life. I find that the 10-15 minutes I take each time I do a mandala centers me for the day. I did not make one a few days ago and felt really off- overwhelmed and stressed out. I find that even though I am really busy, and it could be easy to not make art each day, that the connection with myself and the art grounds me for what happens during that day. This image is about entering into a new period of growth and development (personal and business). There is excitement and the unknown. However, the seeds of growth are being planted and I honor where I’m at in the process.

Today’s MandalaIMG_1256 is very clear. Last night I affirmed a big decision I am making in my life and the feeling of clarity and power of my choice feels so vibrant. The image celebrates the progression of the flame transmuting into growth and budding into new aspects of myself. I can feel the shift within me as I consciously make choices in a new direction. It feels powerful and affirming.


Help! My Child is Screaming on the Floor, Now What?

December 16th, 2009

If you are a parent then you have faced the challenge of helping your child find ways to manage those big feelings that at times seem to over take them. Those feelings of frustration, anger, or sadness that appear to storm out of nowhere and take over your calm rational child. Often parents are bewildered by the behaviors attached to these feelings such as tantrums, yelling, crying, refusal, inflexibility, shutting down, or hitting. Many calm rational parents, who have read the latest parenting books, still struggle with helping their children through the maze of these intense feelings and out of control behaviors. What may be lacking in traditional parenting methods is a way to teach your children emotional management skills that speak to them in their own natural language. Art therapy offers a way to do just that.

Art therapy is a profession that developed in the 1920’s from the belief that all individuals possess innate artistic abilities that can be cultivated for self-expression and developing coping skills. The field has evolved over the years and Art Therapists now work in diverse setting such as hospitals and schools. If you haven’t heard of art therapy before you may be surprised at how using art therapeutically helps to aid in self-expression and creating positive ways to self-regulate strong feelings.

Children who are unable to regulate strong emotions experience “melt-downs”. Brain research suggests that “emotional hijacking” occurs when there is a flooding of electro-chemicals in the brain. Children who experience a stressful situation may become emotionally escalated due to the amygdala being flooded by peptides and hormones. However, neuroscience suggests that by using your cortex, the analytical part of your brain, you can self-regulate strong emotions. When a child is in a learning environment that elicits strong negative emotions this can impact their ability to hear or comprehend what is being taught. The inability to regulate emotions may lead to social isolation, poor academic outcomes, and low self-esteem. However, there is a link between positive affective states and cognitive performance. Thereby, suggesting a relationship between positive affect, higher productivity, creative problem solving, memory, and logic. It is also suggested that increases in dopamine released by positive affect promotes creative problem solving. Moreover, the research on multiple intelligences offers some insight into the different ways a child learns and why some children learn through trying things out by doing a hands-on project.

So what does that mean to the parent who just wants to help their child learn how to manage the big overwhelming feelings and out of control behaviors? It means that doing a creative and pleasurable activity may enhance a child’s learning. It also means that if a child is involved in a positive learning experience that is related to the way they process information, they may be able to learn and retain this information more readily. So a child in art therapy can use their innate creativity to create a character from their imagination to help them stop and think before they act. They can use clay to express their frustration, and then create a new way to solve the problem they are encountering. They might come up with a creative plan to stop their sibling from bugging them using markers to draw out their choices. Children in a creative problem-solving group can create clay figures to help them negotiate relationships and find ways to build social skills. These creative exercises help children to “strengthen” their problem-solving muscles. In other words, they are building up their prefrontal cortex and when they are becoming emotionally charged they can use their creative thinking to get back in control. Art therapy offers a way for your child to become in control of their emotions, not their emotions controlling them, and isn’t that what every parent wants?


Mandala Mondays

December 14th, 2009

IMG_1226Mandala Monday is here and I create an image that truly captures my unfolding. After a weekend of deep connections with important people in my life, and some time reflecting on what I’m feeling, images emerge over the weekend that honor my sadness, loss, anger, fear, and acceptance. I open my heart to hold these feelings without reverting to old patterns. I allow myself to feel the full depths of these mixed emotions and feel a sense of peeling back the layers to reveal the deeper parts that are emerging. I keep coming back to acceptance, without judgement, knowing I am healing and emerging from my cocoon. With all things that are painful, there is also a sense of beauty and honesty. By allowing others in and witnessing their pain and growth we open up to a deeper level. Although, at times it is quite painful, there is immense gratitude,


Don’t be fooled by these holiday myths

December 10th, 2009

There are myths about the holiday that have been ingrained in our belief systems that stem from family narratives, media portrayals, and influences from those around us. Sadly, you will feel overwhelmed, stressed out, not good enough, and flat out frazzled if you buy into these beliefs. So for your own personal well-being, and the emotional health of those around you, I uncover the top four holiday myths.

1. It needs to be perfect-
I was watching TV and Christmas Vacation, the movie, came on. I hadn’t seen it since the 80’s, so I watched and laughed out loud at all the silliness in the movie. What I found interesting is that “Clark”, the dad, was so focused on having a perfect Christmas, with the “perfect” lighting display, that he lost sight of his imperfect family. Do you do that? Get all caught up in the shoulds, how things should look, how the kids should behave, how the holiday should go. When you create high expectation and try to control the outcome you are truly setting yourself up for being disappointed.

2. You must go to everything you are invited to-
There are so many events and parties this time of year, it is impossible to keep up with it all- nor should you!  It is healthy to set boundaries and say NO, and by doing this you can model it for your children. Here’s something simple you can do: Pick one or two events/party, per person, during the holidays. So, outside of school performances, you can ask your child what 1 thing they want to go to, and schedule it. For yourself and your spouse pick 1-2 that are important. If you are fearful of disappointing someone or hurting their feelings, let them know that you and you family have created a new tradition, and you are honoring that.

3. You should be with family, no matter what-
Let’s all be real here, there are family members who are not healthy to be around. They make choices and say things you don’t agree with. These toxic people are hard to deal with when you are in a good healthy emotional space. However, during the holidays most people are not in a good heathy state, instead they are running on empty, trying to get it all done. Of course when you are depleted it’s harder to act rational and not be reactive. If you are going to choose to be around unhealthy family members set boundaries. You can decide to meet them out for lunch, so you can be there and leave if they start to act in a way that’s offensive. You can limit your exposure by visiting them, so you are in control of how long you stay, or you can use this as an opportunity to let them know because of ______, you feel ________, and you are asking them to _____________.

You have too high expectations of people’s behaviors-
Similar to perfectionism, having high expectations for everyone else behavior during this time of year is unrealistic. Adults are stressed and children are over stimulated and excited, so expecting others to act a certain way or for things to go a certain way will cause you unnecessary worry and stress. This time of year expect more melt-downs and acting out from those around you if you are focusing on doing so much and trying to have everything be “just right”.

During this time of year many people need more support, if you need to schedule a time to come in for an appointment, or schedule a coaching session over the phone, please contact us at info@thecreativityqueen


Mandala Making, Day 10

December 10th, 2009

IMG_1214

Today find myself more centered and grounded. The image is sharp and visually strong and flows from me with little effort. I  title it “Clarity” and feel the circle/sun shape on the bottom is rotating from the blue of sadness to the orange, a spiritually strong color. Not only is the energy flowing outward, but it is also flowing back to the center- a feeling of spiritual refueling. I am ready for the day feeling more centered than I have in a while.


Mandala and Healing, Day 9

December 9th, 2009

IMG_1185A foggy morning walk in the park allows me to feel what’s bubbling up inside. I feel fragile, little, and washed in sadness. A part of me would like to climb back in bed and just emotionally rest. I honor that part and ask for healing light to flow over me. Today I will be gentle with myself and honor what that little, child-like, part of me needs.


Mandala and Discovery, Day 8

December 8th, 2009

IMG_1184I find my energy pulled in all different directions recently. I wonder if it’s all the information we have access to or is it my desire to distract myself from my feelings. So I sit still, breathe, and feel the energy moving back into my center. The image is a bottle that is pulling down the energy and busyness, back to a grounding place. I write about it in my art journal, reminding myself I am in control of my choices- and it’s a choice to keep myself and my mind busy. I wonder what purpose all the busyness serves? I process this in my writing and realize the distractions keep me from feeling the things that scare me. I acknowledge my feelings and choose to be gentle with myself.