Summertime social lessons to help your child

July 28th, 2010

Although its the relaxing days of summer, you can still teach your child valuable social skills. It’s kinda like sneaking in some extra helping of vegetables in disguise- it’s good for them and they may not even be aware of it.

So here are some easy summertime social skills tips:

1. Everything is an opportunity to learn and grow, so when there is a melt-down in summer camp or another child is bullying your child, take the time to help your child learn from the experience. This can be as simple as asking questions, listening, and asking your child for other ways they could have handled the situation.

2. Children learn from playing. So allow your child the experience of sharing and managing differences by inviting another friend over for playtime. Do your best to keep a watchful eye from the distance, so you’re not jumping in to solve what’s happening, but allowing your child the opportunity to figure things out.

3. Encourage your child to try something new, like a new game or even art materials. By doing a project together and giving your child the position of project manager you’ll model support and encouragement, while having a fun time learning together! You’ll find it’s a powerful experience to ask others for support and help when things become difficult, so allow your child the opportunity to express what they need.

Enjoy these summertime social tips to help your child continue to learn and grow, even during the “off” season.

Tags: ,
Posted in Parenting Tips | No Comments »

Spank No More!

April 13th, 2010

“Researchers at Tulane University provide the strongest evidence yet against the use of spanking: of the nearly 2,500 youngsters in the study, those who were spanked more frequently at age 3 were more likely to be aggressive by age 5. The research supports earlier work on the pitfalls of corporal punishment, including a study by Duke University researchers that revealed that infants who were spanked at 12 months scored lower on cognitive tests at age 3.

Compared with children who were not hit, those who were spanked were more likely to be defiant, demand immediate satisfaction of their wants and needs, get frustrated easily, have temper tantrums and lash out physically against others.

The reason for that, says Singer, may be that spanking instills fear rather than understanding. Even if a child were to stop his screaming tantrum when spanked, that doesn’t mean he understands why he shouldn’t be acting out in the first place. What’s more, spanking models aggressive behavior as a solution to problems.

For children to understand what and why they have done something wrong, it may take repeated efforts on the parent’s part, using time-outs – a strategy that typically involves denying the child any attention, praise or interaction with parents for a specified period of time (that is, the parents ignore the child). These quiet times force children to calm down and learn to think about their emotions, rather than acting out on them blindly.

Spanking may stop a child from misbehaving in the short term, but it becomes less and less effective with repeated use, according to the AAP; it also makes discipline more difficult as the child gets older and outgrows spanking. As the latest study shows, investing the time early on to teach a child why his behavior is wrong may translate to a more self-aware and in-control youngster in the long run.”

Taken from Study: Spanking Kids Leads to More Aggressive Behavior featured in Time

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Parenting Tips | No Comments »

How to speak to your child so they can finally hear you!

April 5th, 2010

Are you stuck in the cycle of nagging and complaining to your child, yet you feel like it doesn’t work. You are right! If your child is not hearing what you are saying, you need to rethink how you are communicating.

Here are a few common mistakes parents make:

  • Saying the same thing over and over, and still expecting something different (yes, it is the definition of insanity),
  • Yelling, and seeing results, for a bit
  • Threatening with hitting
  • Doing nothing until it gets out of control, then getting really angry

If you want different results, then you have to do something different. Setting boundaries, being clear of consequences, and following through will work- only if you treat your child with the respect you desire that they show you!

Want some more tips? Check-out our newsletter this Thursday. If you are not on our mailing list, sign up now, it’s free! www.thecreativityqueen.com

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Got Fighting Kids?

March 25th, 2010

If you have more than one child, then the answer to question is a resounding, “yes”!

When the kids get fighting even the most patient parent can lose it, and when fighting is constant there’s a feeling like the battle is endless to get them to stop!

So why do kids do it, and what can you do about it?

Kids practice testing boundaries and socialization with their siblings. It’s a safe forum to learn. So they may fight over toys, choice of video games, or shows they want to watch. They are learn to assert their power, how to respond in conflict, how to deal with upsets- all those things they cannot do with their peers on the playground, because they’d be picked on and left out if they acted that way. Because we are hardwired biologically to be socially connected, the threat of being “expelled” from a social group is devastating to a child. So they get to do all their testing and provoking with their siblings, knowing they will not be kicked out of the family.

Okay, well that explains it, so now what? I’m still overwhelmed and stressed out!

It’s a fine balance between allowing your children to work it out in a ‘hands-off approach’ and being a hovering ‘helicopter parent’ standing over the kids as they play and constantly correcting them.

Here are some key things you can do:

Set household rules around safety-

Be clear that hitting and hurting each other is not acceptable and have clear consequence for that behavior and follow-through.

When problems arise encourage them to work it out-

Sometimes they just need to figure it out, and by staying out of it they can do so.

If they cannot come to a compromise and you see a fight happening, then it’s time for you to step in. Depending upon the situation you can help them create a win:win and if they are unable to find a compromise, you can make a determination.

When they come to you blaming their sibling-

You can acknowledge in a neutral way their feelings, “I see you’re mad” (with out taking sides). When they calm down you can ask them what they are going to or what do they need? Then you can explore if that’s possible or ask how to they get that?

Consequences work, if you follow-through-

Giving consequences for poor choices will help your child understand the impact of their behaviors. However, by setting up a system to reward positive choices, your child will be inclined to make better choices. It’s important to encourage success and good choices from all of your children, so they are encouraged to continue to make more good choices!

If your family is stuck in the cycle of fighting and arguing, and you are sick and tired of the struggle, we can help. Contact info@thecreativityqueen.com . We offer simple creative strategies to help families make positive changes, so your kids behave better and your life is more peaceful.

Tags: , , , , , , ,
Posted in Parenting Tips | No Comments »

Is your child struggling with academics?

March 11th, 2010

I hear this common concern from parents, and thought it would be an important topic to discuss. When your child is struggling at school you may want to look at the problem from a more exploratory place, rather than a reactive angry stance, and I’ll tell you why.

When you are reactive and angry you cannot see the problem clearly, and often the way it is solved is with threats and blame. If there is something more happening, beyond the fact that your child is not doing well, then you will not be open to discovering what is.
However, if you look at the problem more as an opportunity to learn what’s going on, with a sense of curiosity, you may find out that there may be more to the problem than what you’re seeing.

Here are some common reasons why children have a difficult time with academics:

It’s not that important to them. I know some parents will hate to hear this, but some children really do not value ’school’ learning. These kids may do well with hands-on activities and have bright and brilliant minds, but when it comes to sitting in a classroom or doing homework, it’s really not that important to them. By by being curious (and not reactive), you can learn how important academics are to them and find ways to help them create meaningful learning opportunities. As a parent you can learn how to let go of expecting these children to get great grades and how to stop working harder than they are.

They may like learning, but struggle with executive functioning skills, such as organization, self- management, attention, and memory. These children may have ADHD, anxiety, pervasive developmental disorders, autism, sensory processing issues and are in need additional support. They may be in need of a structured learning process that supports organization, and takes big projects and assignments and breaks them down into smaller manageable steps. Academic settings aware of the child’s learning needs may be able to teach in a more hands-on way to these children, while offering organizational structure. By being curious (and not reactive) you’ll see if your child is struggling. Parents realize that it’s not laziness, but their child needing more support and structure. Often exploring a school Individualized Education Plan may be beneficial to ensure that the teachers also understand your child’s needs. Tutoring may help your child learn how to structure assignments and stay on top of school tasks.

Something else is going on. It could be that her best friend invited someone else to her house, or there is a bully that keeps saying mean things him. Problems at home with between you and your spouse could be impacting them, or their friends are starting to smoke and they don’t know what to do. All of a sudden your ‘A’ student child becomes a ‘C’ student and he’s getting scolded by teachers and coaches, something else may be going on. At times kids may not even know exactly what’s bothering them, however if you are curious (and not reactive) then you can spend some time trying to connect and understand what your child is experiencing. Just because it may not be a big deal to you, doesn’t mean it’s not a big deal to them, so listen without judgement.

You’ve given them too much control. You’ve allowed them unlimited use of their electronics and now you find you can’t get your child away from their Wii, cell phone, or computer! Well it’s time to take back your parenting control in a firm and loving way and start to introduce structure and consequences. By being curious (and not reactive) you can create a routine around homework time and be very clear of what’s expected (and consequences). Of course, follow-up to ensure that the work is done thoroughly, and not just quickly done to get back to their electronics.

If you are looking to help your family create new ways of managing academic struggles, we can help. We’re here to help you and your child create strategies that support them manage difficulties. Please contact us for more information info@thecreativityqueen.com

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Parenting Tips | No Comments »

Something exciting is about to happen!

March 8th, 2010

Attention Therapists- something thrilling is happening and you don’t want to miss it!

There is this buzz going around about therapists looking to create consistent revenues and finding ways to let go of the dependency on insurance companies. I’d have to say a revolution is happening, as I read the practice building blogs out there. Therapists are getting tired of working so hard to get paid meager wages or they are fearful of leaving a secure job to create a private practice. Doubt and uncertainty have caused therapists to stay stuck; however, there is a undercurrent of change that happening and I’m thrilled to be a part of it!

If you haven’t signed up, I urge you to do so asap and join us for the complimentary Therapist Resource Telesummit March 12-14. Over three days you’ll find tips and strategies to help you shift from a dollars for hour work week, relying in insurance reimbursement or an agency to receive payment, to learning how you can create a profitable authentic practice, helping even more people (and making more money too). It will be a groundbreaking, and fun, event you are not going to want to miss. I’m looking so forward to sharing this information with you!

If you haven’t registered yet, here’s the link http://www.therapisttelesummit.com/

See you at the Therapist Resource Telesummit 2010!

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Six-Month adult “Reclaim My Brilliance” Program

February 17th, 2010

I’ve been seeing many adults hurting so badly and in such pain. It may be many things such as fear of the unknown, relationship problems, or the emphasis of lack and scarcity. Sadly, these fears trigger the thoughts and behaviors you had as a child. If you have never fully healed those aspects of yourself you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed, fearful, scared, or avoiding what’s really at the root of your feelings.

However, for those people who are stepping into their fear and allowing themselves to heal there is tremendous change that is occurring. It’s remarkable to see the release of pain that has been held on for years and how people’s lives can be transformed when they are committed to growing- no matter how scared they are.

So many people are stepping forward to heal their hurts and pains. They have grown up in families that didn’t allow their voice to be heard or they never felt good enough. There are years of pain and hurt that have been pushed down because they were so fearful of letting these hurts out- fearful of rejection, worried they may fall apart, scared others may find out their deepest fears. So they keep looking for ways to fill their void. By doing more, buy buying more, by looking a certain way, by focusing on their children’s well being, and putting everyone else’s needs before theirs. It breaks my heart to see these people struggle to push through all the pain they are feeling and keep searching for ways to fill their hurt places.

These deep wounds created in the past keep you running on a treadmill of beliefs that if you did something more, had something more, if others were different, if you looked a different way, then you would be happy, lovable, respected, understood. The truth is that the ability to heal these tender places is already within you and you just haven’t tapped into it, so you continue to look outside of yourself. The sad part is that most traditional talk therapies will give you more of the same. They will continue to keep you in your head, thinking about things- rather than being in your heart, where you can heal and release your pain. Despite years of talk therapy, many still have not healed their heart. As one very wise woman said, “Art therapy allows me to get into my heart instead of my head. When I am in my heart I can feel, and when I feel I am able to heal”.

So I’m offering something I’ve never offered before, an opportunity to get to release your pain and beliefs that you’re not good enough, that you have to do or be more, that you are broken and unlovable, so you can let go of these feelings for once and for all.

If this the right time for you to finally let go of the pain and heal yourself (and you’ll know in your heart if it is) then I ask you to step up and commit to letting go of patterns that no longer serve you and reclaim your radiant self. I’d be honored to help you on your healing journey.

Introducing the Six-month “Reclaim My Brilliance” Program

This new program is designed for you to powerfully and boldly show up in your own life and reclaim your authentic self. The format of art therapy sessions and coaching calls provides a structure to help you gain clarity and insight and to help you make dramatic and powerfully transformative changes.

This is an accelerated program only for those who are ready to commit to change and are willing to show up fully in their lives (and in this program) to make the changes and transformations that you desire.

You will be held in a loving supportive space that holds you as powerful in your life. Your clarity, insights, creativity, and willingness to take action, and make changes will be honored, as you boldly step into claiming your voice and inherent power.

You will discover within you the healing power of self-love through coaching and art therapy techniques. In the process you’ll be artfully guided to create strategies that will let go of old patterns and transform your relationships. You’ll playfully explore how to nourish and re-connect with your heart, while taking action to integrating these changes into your life.

By being held as powerful in making transformative changes, and by being held accountable in weekly connections, you will give yourself the gift of commitment.

This 6-month program is designed to empower you to step forward into your brilliance and heal old patterns using art therapy and creative problem solving strategies, and coaching tools.

Learn to:

Step into your power and express your feelings in a self-honoring way.

Let go of old patterns that no longer serve you so you can feel happier and connect on a deeper authentic level with your family and friends.

Say yes to yourself and your emotional well-being by owning your feelings.

Let go of stress that keeps you sick, tired, and restless and disconnected from others. Learn how to create deeper connections with others as you let go pleasing behaviors.

Spend less time worrying about what you do and say- and what others do and say, so you can be more “present” in relationships and enjoy your time together with family and friends. Learn how to get out of your head, those thoughts that keep you stuck and trapped with fear and worry, and learn to shift into your heart, so you can live a happier, more fulfilling life.

Trust your inner guidance and how to use intuition to guide you in knowing what’s right for you, regardless of outside circumstances and other’s expectations.

Feel invigorated, re-energized, and more confident, as you embrace your self.

Learn to set boundaries from a place of balance, respect, and love, so you clearly convey your needs.

Six-month program includes:

§      Two- 60 minutes exploratory sessions per month (by phone or in-person) using art therapy, creative problem solving, and coaching to help you uncover the deeper patterns that keep you from having the relationships with yourself, and others, that you truly desire.

§      Two- 30 minute laser coaching calls per month designed to keep you focused on positive outcomes and changes as you move forward boldly in the process of self-discovery.

Bonus- Weekly support check-in via email to help you stay focused, by providing support to help you authentically step forward in reclaiming your brilliance.

If you are ready to set into your brilliance call to schedule a time to start this unique transformative program- call (941)504-8498 or click the free consultation button below to set up a time to talk more about your needs.

Thank you so much for the opportunity to serve you. I look forward to supporting you in your transform, so you may stand in your power and create the life you desire to live!

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Art Therapy, Transformative Changes for Adults | No Comments »

Got teens?

February 16th, 2010

Do you know what works and doesn’t work with your teen? If you are communicating with your teen in the way you used when they were younger, they will not hear you! If you want to build a relationship based on trust, responsibility, respect and compassion you are going to need to do things differently- and we’ll show you what on this 1-hour call!

No more eye rolling and” whatever”: Creative tools to encourage respect and positive communication from your teen.

For parents of adolescents ages 13-19 with Laura J J Dessauer
Join Susan Epstein from ParentingPowers.com for an upcoming Free Teleclass:
Date: Tuesday, February 16th
Time: 8 PM EST/ 5 PM PST

Are you frustrated by your teen’s behaviors?
Do you struggle with a child who melts down, shuts down, or acts
out when they encounter a problem, and you just don’t know what to do?

You’ll learn the follow steps from our Parenting from the Head and Heart System:

* The importance of understanding and validating your child’s point of view.

* How to help your child shift behaviors with this simple tool.

* How to cultivating respect in your relationship. What you need to
know to get the respect you deserve.

* How to change communication patterns from reactivity to positive
effective communication with this strategy. Shift from ‘you can’t
make me” to “Okay”- a tool your child can use at home, in school,
with siblings and peers.

* How to eliminate power struggles by creating consequences that
finally work. Learn a specific tool to contract for success, and
make agreements that encourage personal accountability and
responsibility.

Learn more here:
http://tinyurl.com/977f46

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Parenting Tips | No Comments »

Help your teen communicate!

February 15th, 2010

No more eye rolling and” whatever”: Creative tools to encourage respect and positive communication from your teen.

For parents of adolescents ages 13-19 with Laura J J Dessauer
Join Susan Epstein from ParentingPowers.com for an upcoming Free Teleclass:
Date: Tuesday, February 16th
Time: 8 PM EST/ 5 PM PST

Are you frustrated by your teen’s behaviors?
Do you struggle with a child who melts down, shuts down, or acts
out when they encounter a problem, and you just don’t know what to do?

You’ll learn the follow steps from our Parenting from the Head and Heart System:

* The importance of understanding and validating your child’s point of view.

* How to help your child shift behaviors with this simple tool.

* How to cultivating respect in your relationship. What you need to
know to get the respect you deserve.

* How to change communication patterns from reactivity to positive
effective communication with this strategy. Shift from ‘you can’t
make me” to “Okay”- a tool your child can use at home, in school,
with siblings and peers.

* How to eliminate power struggles by creating consequences that
finally work. Learn a specific tool to contract for success, and
make agreements that encourage personal accountability and
responsibility.

Learn more here:
http://tinyurl.com/977f46

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Parenting Tips | No Comments »

Parenting Teleclass Today!

February 3rd, 2010

Want to learn some specific strategies and tools to help your child manage their behaviors? Join me on the free teleclasses.

TELECLASS TODAY

“7 creative ways to get control of your kids so they learn how to positively manage their behaviors and feelings, & you stay sane!”


Feb 3rd 10:00am CALL TOPIC:
Tip # 3- Help your child shift behaviors with this simple tool!
Learn more click here:


You must register to receive these free call (even if you signed up before). Don’t worry about making the call time. If you cannot attend live a replay link will be sent to you after the call.

Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Parenting Tips | No Comments »

« Older Entries