Are we over medicating children? The #1 thing you need to know!

January 25th, 2012
Are you reaching for medication when your child has a problem, are your child's teachers diagnosing your child, is your pediatrician recommending medication for your child? Here's what you need to know to make an informed decision. Think about the problems children have such as they are not paying attention at school, they may get really upset at their siblings and yell and hit, they may act out or shut down when they encounter a problem with school work, or say they don’t care. Perhaps they have a difficult time transitioning between homes if you are separated or they don’t listen, are disrespectful and moody. There may be some underlying mood issues, anxiety problems, or attention difficulties, but as a parent you are really not quite sure. Let’s say you go to your pediatrician’s office and ask questions. Your pediatrician may have studied mental disorders and will likely have the latest research available to them on what medications will fit the symptoms offered by pharmaceutical reps whose sole intention is to provide information to sell their product.  So your child appears to fit the criteria for anxiety, here is a pill and the problem should be resolved, right? There is more to this picture, and when your child is having difficulties you want to make sure that you are addressing the issues, rather than masking the symptoms with a pill. The #1 thing you need to know before you make the decision to medicate your child. Is it a behavioral or communication issue? The teacher at your child’s school thinks your child has ADHD because your child can’t sit still and focus. You notice your child rushes through their homework, they quickly answer questions and it’s sloppy, you try to help, but they just want to be done. A visit to the pediatrician’s office may lead to a label of ADHD and some medication. If your child is diagnosed correctly they now have the right medication to help them focus; but they will still need to learn strategies to help them think about choices and consequences, tools to help them stay on task during difficult situations, and help them organize and process information without getting upset. However, children often end up in the doctor’s office for medication, when it is a behavioral or communication issue. Let say you and your partner are inconsistent and give mixed messages to your child, especially during homework time, or you may become frustrated and yell at your child during homework time and now when they do school work they are fearful of your response and they shutdown. Or perhaps your child has learned behaviors to manipulate and get out of school work that they don’t want to do (at school and at home). Maybe they are embarrassed to ask for help in school when they don’t understand, so it’s easier to act out. You may find that your child is focused and on-task in the afternoon class after recess, and cannot concentrate and gets into trouble daily in the class just before lunch. Some parents want their child to focus and do homework right after school, but if your child has been at a desk all day they may want to run around or play with their toys/electronics, and it may be too difficult to focus on homework right then. There are so many different variables in determining if it is a behavioral or communication issue, and if medication is right for your child.  Here’s what you can do as a parent to help make an informed decision.
  • Talk with each of your child’s teachers and find out how often the problem occurs, when, and with whom. Find out what are the consequences when they exhibit that behavior (you may find they are getting their needs met, such as getting more attention or 1:1 time).
  • Talk with other people who work with your child. Ask coaches, tutors, lesson teachers what behaviors that they see.
  • Observe your child with their peers, what behaviors do you notice?
  • Track the behaviors at home, when do they occur, how often, how intense are they, what was your child doing when it occurred, who else was there?
  • Track your and your partner’s/spouse's (if applicable) responses before and after your child’s behaviors occur. What were you doing/saying, how did you react?
When you seek out help for your child you have a very clear picture of what's happening, where and when. If the issues are communication or behavioral related a psychologist or therapist can help you and your child develop new coping strategies. If the issues are medical issues, this information will help your pediatrician or psychiatrist diagnose and find the right medication for your child. If you are unsure whether it is a medical related or behavioral/communication issue (or perhaps all three) set-up a consultation with a therapist or psychologist who specialize in working with children and families. Whether or not you choose medication, there has been research on the benefits of therapy and the National Institute of Mental Health notes some disorders can be treated effectively through therapy alone. If you are in the Sarasota, Lakewood ranch, Bradenton, Venice Florida area and you would like more support we can help. Schedule a Support Consultation here. If you don’t live in the area, don’t worry. I created parenting resources to help children and teens you can immediately download and implement to help your child.

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School is calling and it’s not the phone call you want to get

January 10th, 2012
The phone rings, it’s your child’s teacher calling from school to let you know they think something is going on with your child. They are acting out in class, they got in an argument with their friends during recess, they did something inappropriate, their grades are dramatically slipping, or perhaps they were crying in class. Your child’s teacher is concerned, and so are you! As a parent one of the most worrisome calls to get is the one from your child's school. Your mind begins to race, you want more information, you want to make sense of what happened, and you want to know “why”? Before you become reactive or overly concerned there are some important steps you can take to best help your child. 7 steps you can take to best support your child after you get the dreaded phone call from your child’s school: 1.    Stay calm- Being reactive and blaming will not help the situation and will likely close down communication. If you need to process the information and you feel like you are going to become upset, ask the school staff if you can call them back in 15 minutes. Take time to process the information, go for a brief walk, take a few deep breaths, or splash cold water on your face. If you are upset and need to vent, do so with a loved one, friend, or therapist. Explain that you need to talk and ask them to just listen. 2.   Find out the facts- Talk with the staff who witnessed the behaviors or problem. What happened before the situation, who was there, do you know what was said or done, is this a one time occurrence or has this happened before, did something out of the ordinary happen prior to the situation, what did my child say or do, and how was it resolved? Be neutral and try to find out the specifics of what happened. 3.      Ask the school what support they have in place to help with this problem- Find out if the school has resources to help or other professionals they recommend to support your child. If necessary, setup a meeting with your child’s school staff, including teachers, counselors, resource staff, and principal. 4.      Listen to your child- If an incident is upsetting or you cannot comprehend your child’s behaviors (like they failed 4 tests or they hit another child) it is easy to become reactive and angry when you talk with your child. If that’s the case your child may become withdrawn, may hide the truth, or they may become reactive and blaming. Calmly ask your child to explain what happened and that you will listen as they explain without interruption. After they are done sharing their version (and you have listened for 2-3 minutes without interruption) then ask clarification questions. 5.     Deal with the “I dunnos”- Adult translation: “I don’t know” or “I know, but I don’t want to tell you because I’m embarrassed, ashamed, or know you’ll be angry or disappointed or I’ll be in big trouble”. This one may push all of your parenting buttons, because you want to understand what happened and why, so you can sort of if your child needs more support and/or what are the consequences for their behaviors.  When asking clarifying questions many children shutdown when you ask “why”. Instead of asking “why”, ask questions such as “tell me more”, “then what happened”, “how did that feel”, “help me understand”? 6.      Sort it out- Is it a one-time situation, does this behavior happen with your child in other settings? Does your child need some tools to manage their behaviors and feelings? Is there something else going on and you need some professional support? Do they need an academic evaluation, is there a need for a visit to the pediatrician or therapist, is this normal?  What often appears to be bad behaviors, such as acting out, poor grades, or shutting down, may be issues with processing, comprehension, organization, impulsivity, anxiety, depression, or anger. A professional can give you a more clear picture of what’s going on with your child and can teach you child tools and techniques to manage their behaviors and emotions, and collaborate with educational staff and tutors (often without the need for medications). 7.     What are the consequences- All behaviors have consequences. Some are natural, such as failing a test when your child refuses to study. Some are consequences parent’s choose, such as no electronics for a week. Take time to consider the consequences for your child’s behaviors. Perhaps the school has implemented a consequence of no recess and that is enough of a consequence to help your child understand the effect of his/her behaviors. Be aware that using punishments for a child who is struggling with learning disabilities or emotional disabilities may amply negative behaviors and be emotionally harming. Again, if you are unsure if the behaviors are normal, consult a professional for an assessment and more support. If your child goes to school in the Sarasota, Bradenton, Lakewood Ranch, or Venice area and they are experiencing problems at school, we can help. Need some immediate support? Immediately access and download parenting resources to help your child NOW!

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Creative Tips to Reduce Stress

January 9th, 2012
Are you feeling overwhelmed and stressed out? When your brain is stressed out it becomes flooded with peptides and hormones and you may be unable to process information. Take a creative break!

Color a Mandala- Trace a circle the size of a paper plate and use colored pencils or markers and fill in the circle with any pattern or designs. Notice how you feel calmer and more centered.

Play with play-doh- Squish the colors, play with shapes, smell the dough. These sensory activities will help you calm and self-soothe. Do a brain dump- If you’ve got too many thoughts swirling around in your head you can easily become overwhelmed. Take a piece of paper and write down all the things that you’re feeling stressed about. Then rip it or crumple it up and throw it away. Pick one thing to focus on and give your full attention to that. Create a calm collage- Look though magazines and cut out words and images that are calming and centering. Paste them on paper and put them above your desk. When you need a reminder, look at the image. Doodle- Research published in the Applied Psychology Journal suggests that doodling while listening will help you remember details. Have a pad colored pencils or markers and a pad on-hand during your next meeting. If you have stress in your personal life or you’re worried about other family members, your work may be affected. Need more support?

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Is this the year when things will finally be different?

December 28th, 2011
Okay- you want to make some changes in the new year, and change is good indeed. Will this be the year that you make the changes stick? Will this year be the year it finally happens- you lose the weight, find your passion, quit the bad habit, have a peace filled family life, pay off the debt, connect with friends more often, be balanced at work and home, etc. In my practice I've seen people make remarkable changes, often because they are in a place of pain and it hurts too much to keep doing the same thing. I've watched families that typically yell and use anger as a way to communicate shift to understanding and listening, I've seen sibling who act out to get their needs met learn how to ask for what they want, I've witnessed adults make leaps in expressing their feelings in an authentic self-honoring way. There are may theories of change and motivation for change, yet beyond the theories I believe there is truly one simple way that people make and sustain change (see 1. below for the answer). Most people come to therapy or decide "enough" and commit to making a change when things are really uncomfortable. I don't believe that you need to be in pain to make changes, but I feel like we are such creatures of habit that we are pretty likely to continue to do the same thing over and over, longing for different results and finally we become so uncomfortable with the incongruities of what we desire, that we seek change. Here's the interesting part, often when people come to therapy it is because they see someone else as the problem (i.e. my child acts out, my parents are frustrating me, my spouse is unreasonable). You may see the problem as being outside of you or a behavior that you do (drinking, overeating). So you focus on fixing what you believe is "wrong" thinking I'll lose the weight then I'll be happier, when my spouse changes I'll feel better, when my parents stop nagging me I'll be more content, when my children stop yelling then we'll have more joy in our family. Yes, these are based upon external situations, and more than likely will not lead to sustained changes. Here are 6 ways to create lasting positive changes in the new year: 1. Self love- You must honor and respect yourself enough to make whatever changes you desire a priority. When you act from a place of self-love you put your needs first, you lovingly set boundaries with others, and you are kind and gentle with yourself even when you don't make the changes you desire. When you act from a place of self-love you know that external changes will not make you more fulfilled, happier, sexier, peaceful. Rather, your self-love, appreciation, gratitude will help lead to change externally. You love others enough to know that what you desire may be different from what they desire, and that's Okay. 2. Clear goal- Make it a simple goal, one you can achieve. Perhaps break it down into a short-term goal (over the next 30 days) and a long term-goal (over the next 3 months). 3. Take action- Be realistic and ramp up slowly. If your family yells as a way of getting their needs met, it's pretty unrealistic to expect to not argue at all. Instead look to make small changes, such as, we will only argue 1 time a day, or next time I argue I will not say mean comments. Then increase the duration you'll go with out fighting and the intensity- do these small steps over the next 30 days and you'll see changes without feeling overwhelmed. 4. Learn new tools- There is a belief in Choice Theory that our behaviors are meeting our basic needs and we will not make a change unless we substitute it with a new behavior that meets our needs. So you may want to find a new behavior that replaces the old behavior you are letting go of. If you are looking to make changes in your relationships then reading books, taking a class, or going to therapy will give you new tools to replace the old way of behaving. If you are making changes in your life-style find other ways to meet your needs (i.e. instead of retail therapy meet a friend for lunch). 5. Get support and accountability- When you share with others your intentions you become accountable and this is often a way to sustain change over the next 30-days.  So tell others whom you can trust to be supportive of your goals, and then tell them what kind of support you'd like. It's frustrating if your friend calls to give you a 'loving kick-in-the-pants' when all you really want is for them to ask you  how you're doing. So ask for how you'd like to receive your support. 6. Be kind- There will be good days and bad days. There will be times when you make small steps towards your goals, and times when you don't. Remember the first rule- LOVE. If you are critical, unloving, and disrespectful of the times when you don't follow through then really there is no point in trying to make changes, because what you really need to work on is your internal stuff, not external! So be kind, know that everyone who tries new things flubs up and it's all part of the learning process. You are not here to do things perfectly. You are here to do your best, to be kind and loving with yourself, and to be compassionate to others. Want to use the art to affirm the changes you are making? Create a self love and support collage. Use words and images that are reminders of your goals and of being kind and gentle with yourself along the journey. During this time of year many people need more support. Immediately access parenting resources to help children and teens you can download right now and use to help your child! You can lean more here.

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Got Holiday Bad Behaviors?

December 20th, 2011
Got holiday bad behaviors? Your child has been whining, demanding, having meltdowns and tantrums, acting out of control, and school is off and you're wondering, now what? Don't worry here are some tips that will help your child manage bad behaviors during the holidays and help you stay sane! 1. Cut back on the sugar- If your child has been stuffing cookies and candy canes into their mouth it's time to limit the sugar. This simple tips will dramatically impact your child's behavior and prevent sugar highs and crashes. Instead have on hand healthy snacks in a cooler to prevent the hunger meltdowns that happen when your child's blood sugar is low. 2. Create a schedule- Without an understanding of what's expected for them for the day and week they will likely feel unsettled and more easily act out. Let them know what will be happening and when, and post the holiday schedule to a white board or calender where everyone can see it. 3. Limit transitions- Transitioning from store to store or house to house can be stressful for children. They often lack the verbal capacity to tell you, "Hey mom, I'm really tired right now and I don't want to go to another store" ,and if they did tell you that would you listen and respect their request? Know that children will act out if they are tired or overwhelmed, so limit your "to-do" list if your child is showing signs that they are tired and stressed out. 4. Get active- Power down the technology and head out for a walk or swing on the swing set. Build a snowman, go to the park, take a walk. These help your child expel their energy in positive ways, otherwise that pent up energy will be directed at their siblings and lots of yelling for mom! 5.  Create calm down activities- Find activities that will help your child to self-soothe and relax. Take out the art supplies and make gifts for other family members, bake some cookies for an elderly neighbor, listen to  soothing music. Help your child to regulate their mood and behaviors by teaching them ways to relax and self-soothe. 6. Take care of your needs- Ask your partner, a friend, or neighbor to watch the kids or take them out to see the lights. Use that time to renourish, take a bath, drink some tea, watch the fire, or read a book. You'll find that when you are calm and centered it will be much easier to deal with the holiday bad behaviors when they occur. During this time of year many people need more support. Immediately access parenting resources to help children and teens you can download right now and use to help your child! You can lean more here .

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Stress-free holiday: Don’t be fooled by these holiday myths

December 13th, 2011

Stress-free holiday, is it possible?

There are myths about the holiday that have been ingrained in our belief systems that stem from family narratives, media portrayals, and influences from those around us. Sadly, you will feel overwhelmed, stressed out, not good enough, and flat out frazzled if you buy into these beliefs. So for your own personal well-being, and the emotional health of those around you, I uncover the top four holiday myths. 1. It needs to be perfect- I was watching TV and Christmas Vacation, the movie, came on. I hadn't seen it since the 80's, so I watched and laughed out loud at all the silliness in the movie. What I found interesting is that "Clark", the dad, was so focused on having a perfect Christmas, with the "perfect" lighting display, that he lost sight of his imperfect family. Do you do that? Get all caught up in the shoulds, how things should look, how the kids should behave, how the holiday should go. When you create high expectation and try to control the outcome you are truly setting yourself up for being disappointed. 2. You must go to everything you are invited to- There are so many events and parties this time of year, it is impossible to keep up with it all- nor should you!  It is healthy to set boundaries and say NO, and by doing this you can model it for your children. Here's something simple you can do: Pick one or two events/party, per person, during the holidays. So, outside of school performances, you can ask your child what 1 thing they want to go to, and schedule it. For yourself and your spouse pick 1-2 that are important. If you are fearful of disappointing someone or hurting their feelings, let them know that you and you family have created a new tradition, and you are honoring that. 3. You should be with family, no matter what- Let's all be real here, there are family members who are not healthy to be around. They make choices and say things you don't agree with. These toxic people are hard to deal with when you are in a good healthy emotional space. However, during the holidays most people are not in a good healthy state, instead they are running on empty, trying to get it all done. Of course when you are depleted it's harder to act rational, not be reactive, and keep your sanity. If you are going to choose to be around unhealthy family members set boundaries. You can decide to meet them out for lunch, so you can be there and leave if they start to act in a way that's offensive. You can limit your exposure by visiting them, so you are in control of how long you stay, or you can use this as an opportunity to let them know because of ______, you feel ________, and you are asking them to _____________. 4. You have too high expectations of other people's behaviors- Similar to perfectionism, having high expectations for other people's behavior during this time of the year is unrealistic. Adults are stressed and children are over stimulated and excited, so expecting others to act a certain way or for things to go a certain way will cause you unnecessary worry and stress. This time of year expect more melt-downs and acting out from those around you if you are focusing on doing so much and trying to have everything be "just right". During this time of year many people need more support, schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking here.

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How to keep your sanity during the holidays

December 5th, 2011
[caption id="attachment_2620" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="photo by David Castillo Dominici"]holiday family[/caption] It's the holidays and the stress of the year is upon you. All that crazy frenetic, "doing", busy, energy, of rushing around not only impacts you, but your children too. Yup! So if you want to stay sane, you need to physically slow down. I know that may not be so easy with all the things you've got going on. So if you can't stop the rush of the "going", you can slow down physiologically. Simply put, we can slow down our body responses and here's a simple way to do it. Take a minute, while you're in the airport, before you walk into the mall, or a stressful family event. Before you act you can slow down your heart rate and breathing, which will make you feel more calm (and less reactive when problems arise). So take a minute and imagine tensing up all the parts of your body, starting from the top of head, all the way down to your feet. Tense and tighten everything and hold for the count of ten, then exhale and release. Do this three times in a row and you'll be feeling more relaxed for sure. Best part is you can do this with your kids too. If you are traveling with the kids pack up some fun small activities, such as travel games, coloring books, Mad Libs, small package of model magic, and comic books. Kids need down time too so they can self-regulate. A final tip to keep your sanity- say "no thank you". It's simple, yet oh so effective. Having problems at home and need more support? These parenting resources will help your children and teen.

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What to do when the holidays suck

November 29th, 2011
It’s the most wonderful time of the year (insert holiday tunes here)… unless you have experienced loss, trauma, neglect, moved suddenly, lost a job, separated, or divorced, experienced physical illness, volatile behaviors of a family member, substance abusing behaviors of a loved one, or mental illness. So what happens when you or your child experiences losses and changes beyond your control and the holiday season arrives? Everyone appears so jolly and excited, and your experiences have left you feeling like you want to curl up and hibernate through the holiday season. Here are 7 ways to honor yourself and help your child transition through difficult times during the holidays: 1.              Allow yourself  to express your feelings- You may feel like you don’t want to be a downer at the holiday party when people ask you how you’re doing, so you put on a happy face and pretend everything is okay, and reply “I’m fine”. Yes, opening up your emotional floodgates at a party may not be the best way to communicate your feelings; however, you can honor yourself, and your feelings and let others know “it’s been a difficult time”. Model this behavior with your children, so they know that they don’t have to mask their feelings and pretend to be happy in order to make others feel okay. 2.               Listen to yourself- Take time to hear and listen to what you need. That may mean saying no thank you to invitations and spending an evening at home reading a book. You may need to quite down the busyness in order to hear what you need. You can use the art making process to ask yourself what you need right now, and then allow yourself to express that through the art. Art making can help your child to become quite and connect with their inner voice so they can honor their needs too. 3.             Find ways to honor your loss- Put together a photo album honoring memories, create a memory box, use glass paint and paint a glass candleholder in honor of your experiences. Take time to be with your feelings and help your child find ways to honor and express their grief and loss. 4.              Create a new story- Grief and losses often involve letting go of how things used to be. Take the time to acknowledge and honor what was, and then look at how you choose to create a new story. Get creative with a blank journal or art paper and create images and words of what you are welcoming into your life. 5.              Seek out support- Being alone in your pain often amplifies the feelings of being disconnected and unsupported. Find close friends, support groups, or a therapist to help you during difficult times.  You will go through a period of “new normal” where things will never be as they were before; surrounding yourself with support will help you and your child navigate this transition. 6.              Let go of other people’s stuff- When you are honest with your feelings or when problems arise in your home good intentioned family and friends may jump in to offer unsolicited advice or comments. Realize that their response is their stuff; perhaps they feel uncomfortable, or they want you to feel better, and move on, or they want to fix it. Thank them for their concern, and let them know what you need, “sometimes I just need talk things through, or someone to just listen, or I just need to express that I feel upset”.  If they are unable to support you in the way you would like or continue to give unsolicited advice let them know how you feel and seek out support from those who will respect your process. 7.              Be gentle with yourself- You may want to push through the pain or you may become overly critical of yourself and others. Model being kind with yourself and teach your children to be compassionate with their own feelings and behaviors, this will be a life-long gift you will share with your child. If you or your child is in need more support you can schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking here.

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Thanksgiving Crafts for Children: Creative Ways to Celebrate

November 23rd, 2011
Thanksgiving day is a special time to encourage your child to celebrate all the blessings they have in their lives. Here are six creative ideas to involve your child in preparing and creating special crafts and mementos for the day: 1. Have your child create individualized place mats for each guest. This can be a painted image, drawing, or collage using magazine images or even old greeting cards to capture what is unique about each guest. Laminate these images to use as functional place mats. 2. Bake cupcakes and have your child decorate each cupcake with what they are thankful for about that guest and embellish the cupcakes with these words or images. Use edible customized images from photos made at your bakery or 3D sugar embellishments. 3. Have your child create a thanksgiving centerpiece representing each person who is part of the family. You can start with a tall large vase filled with rocks, fruit, or glass and add wooden dowels with photos of each family member attached to the dowels, or 3D embellishments found at a craft store representing something unique about each family member. You can fill this in with flowers and foliage if you desire. 4.  Visit the craft store and have your child pick out a small papier mache box or wood box for each guest. Use markers, paint and glitter and decorate each box, inside and out. Ask your child what’s special about each guest and write their words on slips of paper and add them to the box. Ask each guest to open the box and share their favorite with the table. 5. Take the family video recorder or flip camera and make a video of your child. Interview your children on what makes each extended family member unique and special and create a documentary of gratitude. Purchase plastic DVD boxes and cut out paper to fit the DVD case and ask your child to decorate each case with thanksgiving images. Burn the movie onto disk and give each guest their own personalized copy 6. Turn your cranberry sauce from the can into Tom the turkey. Get some big feathers from the crafts store and have your child decorate the sauce, then add a popsicle stick with a turkey head image into the other end and you have an instant cranberry turkey. If you or your child is in need more support you can schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking here.

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Want a Happy Child? Positive Psychology & Creative Gratitude Strategies to Reduce Depression

November 15th, 2011
What are your thoughts on happiness? It seems like you either have it or you don't, and as a society we are continually pursuing it. Heck, it's even a constitutional right here in the U.S. as decreed in the Declaration of Independence. These days Happiness is a Hot Topic in therapeutic research and for those whose lives are impacted by mood disorders and depression there are some hopeful findings. Interestingly enough the research on Positive Psychology (yes, the study of happiness) suggests focusing on our strengths and giving gratitude daily can reduce symptoms of depression and long-term change. Now that is something to be very grateful for! Positive Psychology is the study of mental well-being encompassing positive emotions, and character traits (Park et al., 2005). The research offers some insight into happiness and how much we control we have over our happiness.  David Lykken studied 4,000 sets of twins to determine how genetic influence happiness.  Lykken concluded 50% of our happiness comes from genetic predisposition.  Moreover only 8% of circumstantial factors (life events) influence an individual’s well-being.  Gratitude appears to be linked to happiness and quality of life. Research by Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests doing five acts of kindness increased overall happiness.  Moreover, Robert Emmons found gratitude exercises improved health and energy levels, especially for those with neuromuscular disease (Wallis, 2005). Martin Seligman and his colleagues (Park et al., 2005) studied positive psychology interventions using the internet to collect data. They presented one of five exercises to participants and one placebo (or fake intervention). The five exercises were:
  • gratitude visit (write and deliver a letter of thanks),
  • three good things in life (document three positive experiences daily),
  • you at your best (write about a time they were at their best),
  • using signature strengths in an new way (using top five strengths identified on inventory of character strengths in a new way),
  • identifying signature strengths (take the survey of character strengths),
  • and the placebo intervention: early memories (write about earliest memories).
The results suggest that two interventions reduced depressive symptoms and increased happiness for six months, using your signature strengths in a new way and three good things. The gratitude visit caused a spike in positive change for one month, however within three months participants resumed their baseline status.  Notably, those who participated in three good things saw an increase in positive affect at the one-month follow-up and they maintained this positive affect at the six-month follow-up. In addition, using signature strengths in a new way yielded long-term change in affect at the six-month follow-up, but immediate effects were not as pronounced as three good things. So what can you take away from this article and apply in your own life? Happiness is not "fixed" or genetically based; so you can increase your happiness and there are some specific strategies you can use such as learning what your signature strengths are and using them in a new and novel way. Also, a very simple tool of three good things in life, documenting three positive experiences daily, may reduce symptoms of depression. You can use art and art therapy practices to help reduce depression and increase happiness by creating a a daily gratitude practice. Write in a journal, ask your children to name three good things at dinnertime or bedtime, create an art journal and draw, paint, or collage images of three good things that happen each day. Create a gratitude box and each day add words, objects, and images to it and when you are feeling down go back and look at what you added to the box. Document three good things with your camera each day and if you have a social media page start a daily gratitude post or share a daily gratitude picture. Do this daily and see how it impacts your mood over the next 3-months. Of course, if you or your child has any symptoms of depression or concerns please seek out the support of a professional immediately, and if it is an emergency call 911. If you or your child is in need more support you can schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking here.

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