"The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows."
~Sydney J. Harris
Join Candace Vorhaus and Dr. Laura Dessauer
for a 60 Minute Tele-Seminar
- If you have a phone, you're there! -
(Recording will be made available for download)
Wednesday October 19th, 2011
8pm ET/ 5pm PT
Fee: $47
Help Your Child be Successful Using the Unique Principles of Feng Shui & Art Therapy
In this 60 minute tele-seminar, Candace will share her C3D Feng Shui solutions to an environment that supports children to maximize their learning experience, increase self confidence, and get along better with friends and relatives. Did you know that the improper placement of a desk can cause children to go unnoticed, feel out of control, and cause an inability to see problems coming? Did you know that a bed in a poor position can cause anxiety, mood swings, headaches and insomnia? Did you know that a a door to a bedroom that is misaligned can create family conflict?
In the C3D Feng Shui portion of this tele-seminar, Candace will share:
The best desk placement to increase IQ- The most important bed placement to give children confidence
- A method for children to feel safe in their beds
- How to handle electro magnetic fields that can cause irritability, insomnia and increase stress
- An easy way to correcting beams, slants and poor door placements to avoid emotional instability and physical disorders
- The design details that can create a bully with simple environmental solutions
- A color palette to support children's success and happiness
Click Here to Register
Dr. Laura Dessauer, board certified art therapist, will teach
Creative Parenting strategies from the
Head and Heart System to help your child creatively manage their emotions and behaviors. She'll share with you her art therapy toolbox to help your child shift their behaviors, change communication patterns, and eliminate power struggles, meltdowns, and shutdowns to help your child feel happier.
With Dr. Laura Dessauer you'll learn:
- Creative strategies to help your child manage their behaviors and feelings.
- How to help your child shift behaviors and finally get your child to listen to you.
- What you may be doing (or not doing) that is negatively impacting your child and what you can do instead.
- Signs and signals that your child may need additional support and what to look for in a therapist or doctor to ensure your child is getting the best help.
Dr. Laura Dessauer's mission is to teach children, parents, and professionals creative ways to connect and communicate with respect and compassion, so children feel happier and more confident. As the founder of the Creativity Queen, LLC, Laura's a Board Certified Art Therapist with a doctorate degree in counseling psychology offering individual and family art therapy sessions and professional trainings. Laura has worked with families for 23 + years in over 21 school districts and she has been featured in Parent's Magazine, eHow Parenting, YourTango, FoxNews, PBS This Emotional Life, Working Mother, Head Drama, Gal Drama, and Psychology Today. Laura is recognized as an international presenter, esteemed clinician, author, and her business, the Creativity Queen, LLC, was the winner of the 2007 Small Business of the Year Award (SCORE).
Visit
www.thecreativityqueen.com to receive your free audio mini-course
Secrets Your Kids Really Don't Want You to Know: A Child Art Therapist Tells All (*except for the confidential stuff)
The process is easy:
After you register, you will be sent a conference call telephone number you can dial into and listen from wherever you are. After the call, you will be sent an audio file from YouSendIt.com within 24 hours.
Whether you are on the call live or prefer to listen at another time, a recording of the call will be made available to each participant to download to a computer or iPod.
Candace believes focusing on your personal space is the missing link to lifelong fulfillment and happiness. In her work with clients, Candace emphasizes C3D Feng Shui: Color, Clutter, Ch'i (life force), and Design. A classically trained interior designer with over 20 years experience, Candace is the recognized leading Feng Shui consultant in the world-famous Hamptons, also advising clients worldwide. Candace is also a well known heart-centered spiritual coach, and an original member of the International Association of Women in Business Coaching. Candace lives in Sag Harbor, New York, with her husband, Robbie, two children, and very cute dog, Ollie. For further information, contact Candace at:
www.candacevorhaus.com
Does your child have trouble listening to you? Are you feeling like a broken record, asking again and again for what you want, and feeling like you are being totally ignored? If you’ve asked for what you wanted and everyone in your household seems to ignore your request you’ll likely get to a point where you begin to wonder, “why isn’t this working, why aren't they listening?"
You may begin to get to a boiling point, get mad, throw a fit, threaten, just give in and take care of it yourself, or complain about all that you do for everyone in the house. What you’ll likely find is that when you reach your boiling point and react (or just take care of it yourself while silently resenting your family members), others may for a short period of time take notice. Heck, you may even get your teen (or husband) to listen and pick-up their underwear off of the bedroom floor if you yell loudly enough, AND….
…you may be creating a pattern of negative behaviors to get your needs met. So your children and spouse continue to ignore your requests and pleas until you blow your top, then all of sudden they are listening, responding quickly and wondering, “What’s up with mom ?”
We know that children model their parent’s behaviors, so the last thing you want to teach your child is that ignoring and then overreaching is a healthy way to communicate. The best way to teach your child to listen, respect your requests, and to communicate in healthy way is to learn how to communicate your wants and needs in a healthy manner first.
You can use creativity to get back into you parenting authority, and here's a way you can do so. Create an image of something (or someone) that represent being empowered, strong, assertive, and clear. Take a minute to see what pops up for you. Now embody this! Wear it like a cloak and ground yourself in this image. When your child or spouse wants to "hook you into an argument" or they are ignoring your requests, connect with this empowering image before you respond. You'll respond from a centered more calm place; then you can use the 3- Step “Super Secret” Formula to ask for what you need! You can take this exercise even further and create an image of this and put it in a place where you'll see it often as visual reminder of being in your parenting power.
Drum roll please....I’m going to share with you my 3- Step “Super Secret” Formula to finally get your kids (and spouse) to listen.
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Do you have a child who struggles with homework? Does your child have a difficult time sitting down to do their homework or organizing or remembering their assignments? You may find yourself spending lots of time trying to get them to finally attend to their homework without a daily battle, meltdown, or interruption. What's a parent to do?
Sometimes homework struggles signify there is something more going on with your child. They may have processing or learning issues and they may become 
Did you know that 
Guest Article by Dee Mason
‘I don’t know what to do with this kid. He’s got to go!’ This was my introduction to Matthew, a difficult teenager who was driving his teachers mad. No one could cope with him and almost all of his teacher/pupil relationships had broken down. When he wasn’t chatting he was distracted. His lies were works of art. He was likeable, with blonde spiky hair and vivid blue eyes, full of intelligence and guile. He seemed more mature than the other seventeen year olds. He didn’t have an agenda; he just tried to get through every day by lying, ducking and diving, doing the minimum to stay on the course and the maximum to fuel his enjoyment of life.
My Job
My job at that time was to take on the most difficult teenagers in the college, befriend them, and help them be successful. I knew it would be a challenge, and I was up for it. I came to see that these students were Mavericks and they respond well to slightly maverick solutions!
My Room, My Rules
I had very, very few rules.
Rule One: No Sniffing
I provided tissues. “Arrrrgh….I can’t stand it!” I’d say, handing them the box. This was a) true but b) I came to understand that it was also an act of ‘mothering’ that the teens didn’t mind at all. I realized that teenagers are still very much living with one foot in their childhood. The ones that were failing just needed a little more time to move on. I brought in bags of sweets often. They loved to feel they were special and a little bit spoiled. After all, everyone else in the school was shouting at them. These small acts of mothering seemed to give them a feeling of security and helped build trust.
Rule Two: Right! Work now!
I always let my growing band of outlaws chat away about their issues for a while. We talked about boyfriends, and parent’s 
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As featured on 
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If you have a relationship of any kind, with a spouse, friend, parent, or child, then you have encountered someone else making a decision you would never dream of doing. There is pain seeing that person making a choice your know in your heart is just not the "right" decision for them. Ironically, the closer we are to the person, the more we believe we know what's right for them, and often we will make comments or demands upon them, based upon our knowing what's best.
We would never dream of telling our co-worker what they are wearing is wrong and they should change, yet it becomes almost a duty to be hypercritical about what our spouse or children are wearing or doing. Often when tasks that are delegated to those in the household are not completed, we jump in to do it. Heaven forbid your child wear wrinkled clothes to school because they left their laundry on the floor.
Most parents who rescue fear what others might think or that things won't get done exactly right, or if they don't control the situation their child may fail or get hurt. Most people rescue because they love those around them and they don't want to see them hurt. However, rescuing sets up a whole new set of problems. The person you rescue doesn't get to learn from their actions. They don't learn how to self-correct, or make changes when they are off course, since they have had someone doing that for them. They don't learn how to overcome obstacles and when they do arise (and they always do) they are unprepared. I've had many young adults in my office who just didn't know how to handle tough stuff because their parents did it for them when they were growing up.
The question that most people ask is how do they know when to intervene. The first question to ask, is it a safety issue? Meaning if you don't intervene will someone get hurt physically? If it is a safety issue, step in and set a boundary. All other issues are not black and white. I love to challenging parents to talk out the choices and consequences with their children. For tasks such as homework and household chores personal accountability works wonders. Have a neutral discussion (without getting emotional about the topic) and develop a contract to help identify what will be done and what are the consequences. Contracts do work, when they are done right, meaning they are respectful of each person's needs and there is an incentive to change for both parties.
For things such as bullying at school or children who are having emotional problems a more supportive role is necessary. Parents often step in too early and attempt to stop bullying, which may cause more social problems for their children. Brainstorm with your child solutions, allow them to test some out before you become involved. If things continue to be a problem and it becomes a psychological safety issue, there may be a need for more direct involvement.
Encourage your child to take part in choosing their consequences; if they have done something wrong, ask them to come up with the consequences. You'll be amazed at how they will learn from this, with less tantrums and more personal accountability.
Here's the important part to remember, those who rescue others become resentful. They will do, and do, and do, and then finally get upset that everyone treats them disrespectfully and takes advantage of them. Stop the cycle of rescuing so you don't fall into this pattern, and you allow others an opportunity to learn.
Here's a creative activity to help you identify times when you rescue. Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left side write the word rescue and on the right side write the word support. Fill in the page with images and words of times when you rescue (what you say and do) and what it might look like if you supported that person instead.
When you become aware of your tendencies to rescue then you can choose other ways you can support your child and other family members. If you or your child is in need of more support we can help. 
Are you worried about your child’s behaviors in public, are you tired of hearing negative comments about your child’s behaviors from family, friends, and teachers, does your stomach sink and you feel totally embarrassed when your child or teen starts to act out in public?
It seems rather crazy that restaurants, airlines, and public spaces would restrict children; isn’t that how children practice learning social expectations and rules? As an art therapist in private practice I see many families whose children have gotten out of control with their meltdowns and tantrums. These children act out in public spaces leaving parents feeling helpless, worried, and often walking on eggshells fearful of the next time their child will have an emotional outburst.
Here’s the thing, there may be something going on with your child that warrants additional support. Your child may have anxiety, explosive anger or mood disorder; or it may be something much more simple than that. It may be that your child has not learned ways to manage their behaviors and emotions.
Here are 7 tips to help your child manage their out of control behaviors.
1. You are the parent and your child is looking for you to set the rules and boundaries of what are acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. As a parent it’s your job to provide feedback to help your child become aware of their behaviors, and to offer your child support to help them connect and modify behaviors. Children learn from your actions and behaviors, so get crystal clear on what’s okay behavior and what is not.
2. Acknowledge their feelings. Often children are acting out because they are upset, bored, annoyed, nervous, mad, sad, excited, hungry, tired (among other feelings, needs, and wants). By identifying your child’s feelings and behaviors your child will become more aware of their own feeling, behaviors, and wants. For example a child who is clinging to you and interrupting you as you speak you can acknowledge their behaviors and feelings, “ I can tell you want my attention now, and what you have to say is very important, when I am done speaking then I can listen to what you have to say”.
3. Let your child know when they are acting inappropriately. When you notice the negative behaviors it’s time step in and let your child know what is expected. Be clear, direct, and assertive without becoming angry and aggressive. For example, “The sofa is not for jumping, please stop”.
4. Allow your child to self-correct. If it is not a safety issue give your child an opportunity to hear what you have requested. You may need to step closer, look into their eyes, put a hand on their shoulder, or meet them at eye level and state what it is that you want them to do, then give them a few seconds to process what is being requested.
5. If your child continues to act and disregard your request, it is time to step into your parenting authority. In a calm manner let your child know what the consequences of their behaviors will be if they do not stop. Do this is as calmly as possible. Recent studies in brain-based research suggest we mirror the emotional responses of those we are connecting with. Unconsciously (and at times consciously) children want you to be as upset as they are. By staying calm and in your parenting authority you unplug power struggles and help your child regulate their feelings and behaviors. By getting upset you fuel their emotional outbursts further.
6. Consequences need to be immediate and meaningful, and you need to follow-though. Here’s the tricky part for most parents, they may become so upset at their child’s behaviors that they make a threat that is unrealistic, like taking away the TV for a month. Then when parents are calm they realize it may be difficult to monitor the consequence, and they decide to lessen the consequences or never follow-through. Children are very aware and learn by your behaviors. When you do not follow-through on consequences they realize that your consequences are not to be taken seriously, and they disregard your requests.
7. If your child needs more support in helping them to change their behaviors then you can help by developing a positive rewards system for younger children and a behavior contract for tweens and teens. I have witnessed children make dramatic transformations in their behaviors with these strategies, and I‘ve seen these strategies flop. What makes these behavior agreements work is when parents and children both are invested and the goals are realistic and achievable.
I recommend these 7 tips to the families I work with and support them to create their own individualized strategies to best support their child to get back in control of their behaviors. If you are concerned about your child’s behaviors try these strategies and if your child continues to struggle, seek out support.
If you would like more tools and strategies to help your child join me, Dr. Laura Dessauer (the Creativity Queen), on the 
Got a child heading back to school and you want to help your child become responsible and accountable for the school year? Help your child create goals for the school year and provide your child with creative tools to be successful.
Here are some creative ways to help your child articulate and track their academic goals:
Ask your child to create an image (or use magazine collage) and ask them to make artwork representing their school goals. You can make it easier to define by taking a circle and filling in different sections for different goals they are striving to achieve.
For example inside of a circle they would section off each piece of the pie and create images and words inside of that section that represent their specific goals. Areas could include academics (a slice of the pie for each subject) friendships, social activities, and sports.
Another way to keep track of goals would involve creating an altered book by recycling an old book and creating a scrapbook of images and words representing the different goals your child is working towards. You can use an old out of print textbook, vintage yearbook, old children’s book, or visit a used bookstore. Cover the pages with paint and then use magazine collage to decorate the pages. Visit the craft store for additional scrapbook embellishments to personalize your child’s goal book.
The benefits of creating a personalized image or book of your child's goals allows your child to create what a successful academic year would look like for them, holds them accountable for what they are creating (rather than you nagging them), and allows them an opportunity to reflect back at the end of the year on what they accomplished, and what they could improve upon. Plus it’s really fun to have a book or image of the year they created.
Need some more support to help your child be successful?
